


Egg Head

by harrytomlinsunshine



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Based on the famous vine, Drabble, Drunk!Lilo, Drunk!Louis, Horny!Harry, M/M, Oops, Smutty, Theres a blowjob, drunk!liam, overuse of religious terms, sassy!louis, under 1k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 23:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3359990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrytomlinsunshine/pseuds/harrytomlinsunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm gay, it's pretty unfortunate." </p><p>--</p><p>Or my take on the story behind the infamous vine. There's a blowjob, if you squint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Egg Head

**Author's Note:**

> This is unedited oops

Louis' drunk, he knows it. 

Liam, Niall and him just went out for a few pints, but he's fucking smashed.

Niall's gone off to who knows where, he couldn't care less, he's just waiting for the cab to come pick him up, he's not sure he can hold Liam's weight for much longer. 

The few men he was having a conversation with were talking about a party or summat, he can vaguely hear them mixed with talkative fans through his foggy mind. 

"There were so many people there, let me tell you." one of them chimes, John, he thinks. 

"Bitches were grinding all up on me. It was insufferable." 

Louis cringed. That sounded awful. He probably would've been out of there as soon as possible if women were grinding their wet vaginas all over him. 

"That's not all, all the men there had little to no clothing- I swear to fucking god one of them was wearing a thong." 

"Sounds hot." Louis jokes, adjusting a half conscious Liam on his shoulders. "It wasn't, It was gross. Why, do you think that sounds hot?" John asks. 

"I'm gay, it's pretty unfortunate." Louis chides. 

"Really?" John says. 

"Mhm. Do you need any proof? I've got some lube in my jacket pocket." 

"Please don't." John laughs, and Louis giggles along with him. 

Liam is being a little shit, playfully yelling at the fans, which happens to be right in his fucking ear, so he shoves him off onto John, the stranger accepting the body with a noise of complaint, and cracks his shoulders. 

The cab arrived there just then, and him and Liam somehow made it out without falling over. 

He's suddenly aware of how many fans were there, taking pictures, videos, audio... But he just couldn't find himself to care. He just wants to get back to the hotel and have an aspirin induced cuddle with his boyfriend. 

\--

As he parts with Liam and enters his hotel room, he's faced with Harry with a hand around his cock, god bless the horny fucker. He starts shucking off clothing, rolling his eyes and saying "You couldn't wait, could you?" 

"Oh, shut up..." Is Harry's only reply, not slowing down his quick strokes. They've been inside of each other, he's not stopping just because Louis walked in. 

"I'm smashed, I can't think straight." Louis crawled onto the bed, between Harry's legs, stealing his cock from his hand. 

Harry chuckled, "Well you are about to suck my cock, wouldn't want you thinking straight, now would we?"

"I'm going to shove a bible down your throat." 

Harry just grunted in reply, so Louis got to work. He left kitten licks to the slit on Harry's cock, stroking the girth and suckling on the head, taking more and more in as he went. 

He stopped going down about halfway and started bobbing his head, coming up to lick the vein on the side of his boyfriend's dick, getting spurred on by the purrs of content and moans of pleasure flowing freely out of those sinful lips. 

"Jesus, Lou..." Harry moans, nearing his orgasm a bit too quickly for his own liking, he didn't want to loose the lips of such a great cock sucker so soon. 

As Harry comes down Louis' throat, letting out such a pornographic groan that Louis almost chokes on his cum, Louis smiles. (Well, as much as he could with a jumping penis in his mouth.) 

He settles for turning the fan on to rid away Harry's sweat and cuddling up close to his boyfriend. 

"Hey Lou?" he hears on the verge of sleep, he's too lazy to get those very much needed aspirins. 

"Yeah?" 

"You've got my eggs in your throat." 

"You're fucking disgusting!" Louis scrunches up his nose and shoves himself away from his cackling boyfriend's chest. 

"Alright, Egg head." 

He falls asleep with a snort. 

\--

When he wakes up in the morning with a regretful hangover pounding through his temples, he's vaguely aware that Harry has changed his twitter icon to an egg,  he's way too tired and fond to care. 

Being gay, he thinks, is pretty fortunate.

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @adorablelinson


End file.
